Skill Development

Hey hey everyone! Britt here again! Before I start the main purpose of this post, I wanted to share some NSV (non-scale victories) that I have been really proud of lately. First, I ran my second ever 10K last Sunday! I finished in 1:20:15, which was a minute and 13 seconds faster than my first 10K! No it's not fast but I did it, beat my previous time and I'm proud of it! I have another thing that I'm super proud of right now but you might have to wait a little bit for me to make that announcement, so stay tuned! ;) And no, I'm still not pregnant so let's get that rumour out of the way :P

Alright, so onto the main purpose of this post! I wanted to talk about a book I just finished. Honestly, this book has changed my life. I couldn't put it down. I made notes, put sticky notes on pages and really absorbed the messages within this book. A year ago, I wouldn't have even thought about reading this. Essentially, it is a "self help" book. I don't like the title of "self help" as I feel there are so many negative connotations towards them. Yes we should get rid of those feelings towards this genre of literature but I prefer to call them "Personal Development" books. That's another term that I learned from Samantha, my challenge group coach. I prefer this title as it describes exactly what I read them for; personal development. We put so much effort and attention into the work we do yet don't always take the time to improve and work on ourselves. We should never stop working on ourselves. When we work on ourselves, we aspire to be the best version of ourselves that we can possibly be. Because I've made such a connection to this book, I wanted to share some of the messages that really stuck out and resonated with me. Really, everything she expresses and shares in her book are skills that need to be practiced. The way that an athlete needs to practice their physical skills, it is just as important to practice your mental skills as well. It is not enough to read about something and then toss it aside. It is something that needs to be practiced over and over again to become routine and a habit. Okay, so here we go.

The first thing I guess I should do is tell you what it is called!! The book is Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini. She describes her book as "The no-BS guide to silencing your inner critic and becoming wildly wealthy, fabulously healthy, and bursting with love". Despite the description, it is not a "get rich quick" guide. She tends to focus more on what money means and how it should be perceived in relation to everything else in your life, however this is just a very small part of her book. There are so many amazing things that I want to talk about but I've chosen a list of the Top 5 things I wanted to focus on. So here we go!

"You are no good to anyone if you aren't the full bursting-with-love you"

This seems like something that is easy to say but is actually quite difficult to put into practice. You can say that you "love" things but it goes so far beyond just loving things. This also applies to the way you react to situations. You can choose to get angry at the person who cut you off in traffic or you can decide that it isn't a big deal and that nothing bad happened and focus your energy on something else. You can choose to get mad that your order at a restaurant was wrong or you can accept that people make mistakes and maybe that server has a lot on his/her mind as well and calmly resolve the situation. You can choose to let the bad things that people say about you bother you or you can acknowledge that what people say about you isn't a reflection of you but a reflection of them. Before resorting directly to judgement, ask yourself if that judgement you are passing is caused by something in yourself that you are not satisfied with. This is something I have greatly struggled with but have been making an enormous conscious effort to change. Even my thoughts. When I catch myself thinking something negative about something or someone, I tell myself "you are not perfect either and this is a thought that you can't even begin to entertain in your mind". Let that thought go. 

The best and most effective way to become the bursting-with-love you is to take care of yourself!! We try to help others so often that we very rarely take the time to take care of ourselves. Melissa stated that "if you don't take time out for yourself, you're doing yourself and everyone around you a disservice". You know that saying "you can't pour from an empty cup"? It's so true!! If you are not happy and content in your own mind, you can't even begin to try to help others. Taking time can be something as simple as making a cup of tea and reading a book, or even taking a mental health day. I'm on day 2 of my 5 day weekend and I'm feeling so amazing already!

Meditation

This is not something I would have ever thought to do. To be honest, I would have thought it was a stupid practice reserved for a select few people. Boy was I wrong!! I've been hearing more and more people talk about meditation and their successes with meditating. I had heard about an app called Headspace through a colleague and decided to give it a try. The app is a daily guided meditation session that you can set to either 3, 6 or 10 minutes. I've been doing the 10 minute sessions. Even after those ten minutes, I feel so refreshed and ready for the day! I've even used it when I have difficulty sleeping. Works like a charm! Headspace is available online, through the App Store and through Google Play. 

The three simple steps for meditation are:

1. Find somewhere quiet. A place where you won't have interruptions and that has a calming feel.
2. Sit up in a chair or on the floor with a pillow or something to support your lower back. 
3. Relax your body and your shoulders. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold the breath for 2 counts, and release the breath for 4 counts. Focus on your breathing. When you find that your mind starts to wander, slowly bring your focus back to your breathing. Do this for 10-20 minutes. Even just 5 minutes if you're just starting out!

That's it! Super simple and oh so relaxing! I really like Headspace since it is timed for you and the guide gives you gently reminders to focus on your body, breathing and when to refocus when your mind wanders. I highly recommend giving it a try!

Gratitude

Be thankful. Be thankful for what you have  and the people in your life that make it wonderful. This part is really just thinking about what you are grateful for today. If what you're grateful for are people, tell them!! Tell them why you are grateful for them. Thank them for how they light up your life. When we show gratitude and make people smile, we make ourselves feel good too. Yes it may sound a little selfish but being selfish doesn't always have to be a bad thing. Celebrate your gratitude! 

Just yesterday I was talking to a friend. He is going through a difficult time right now and said that the only thing he has going for him is his custom art. I immediately said "stop that". I told him to write down ten things that he was grateful for right at this moment. He said he didn't have pen and a paper and I said that's no excuse and to do it in a memo on his phone and that I would make my list with him too. Not a couple minutes later and he had a list of ten things that he was grateful for. I said that the next time he feels that way, look at that list. His texting tone changed and I think it actually made him feel better. We then went on to talk about his art. He shared some with me and I really lifted him up because he really is truly talented and that is something that is very important to him. That was a real feel-good moment for both of us. 

Create a Self Love Menu

Now now let's not let those minds get too far into the gutter. This isn't THAT kind of menu.. This is basically a list of things you love to do during your "me time". Okay, that doesn't sound very good either.. For example, my Self Love Menu includes:

• A cup of tea on the balcony with a good book
• Writing in a fancy journal
• Go to a ball game
• Text a good friend and have a wonderful conversation
• Run
• Write a blog post

Your Self Love Menu is a list of things that light you up from the inside out, things that inspire you, things that motivate you and things that just make you feel good. 

Do one thing from your list everyday! That's your "me time". Having this list of things to do that you actually enjoy doing prevents you from doing those other things that are not necessarily in your best interest such as having a bottle of wine and a tub of ice cream. Now those things are all well and good and yes, sometimes we really want and deserve those things, but too much of a good thing isn't always good ;) I am definitely not trying to tell you how to live your life. The only one who knows what you want and need is you. You do you!

Love versus Fear

Okay so this book is called Mastering Your Mean Girl and I haven't even talked about her! The Mean Girl is that nasty voice in your head telling you that you can't do something, that you're not worthy of something, that talks you down from doing something that you really want to do. She is Fear. Your MG can't survive in a state of Love. Anything you do out of Fear is your MG talking. "I work out because I don't want to get fat" is a good example of your MG at work. Your fear of "getting fat" is your reason for working out when in reality you should be thinking "I work out because I love my body and I want to treat it as best as I can". That's acting out of Love. Take care of yourself because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself. And do this for YOU, not for anyone else. "Comparison keep you stuck in Fear Town". You can't please everyone, so don't try. Whenever you do something, always be yourself. Literally. We hear this so much that it has become a cliche. But in all seriousness, be yourself! Don't dim your light because you think it may make people uncomfortable. You deserve to be proud of yourself and you deserve to celebrate yourself! Don't tell yourself not to do something because others may make think's stupid. I use this as an example. Some people may think that me blogging about a personal development book may be stupid or sound "preachy" but this is something was important to me so I did it. This blog in general. Some may not like it, many will not read it, but I enjoy it. I enjoy writing and I enjoy sharing so I'm going to keep going!

In addition to her amazing story, messages and tips, throughout the book she expresses Soul Shares and Inspo-Action sections. Soul Shares are quick quotes and snippets that resonate with you and sum up that section of the book. Inspo-Action sections are written and engaging prompts for self reflection. That was one of the things that I loved most about this book. The interactions she forces with her readers so that you get the most of the book were inspiring and eye opening. She states when she has pages available for print on her Mastering Your Mean Girl website.

She has some pretty inspirational social media activity as well. If you're interested you can find her here:

Facebook

Twitter: @mel_ambrosini

Instagram: @melissaambrosini

Again, I'm not trying to be "preachy". I found that I really connected with this book and it has really made me think of things differently. There is nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself. If this is something you have ever even thought of, I recommend starting with this book. These were just a few things that really stood out for me. I finished the book last night and I really didn't want it to end. I can't even do it justice in this post. There are so many things I want to talk about but this post would be way too long and would possibly infringe on copyright laws :P 

I know it's not for everyone and not everyone has had the same experiences that Melissa has had, myself included, but the messages are the same regardless of personal experiences. I'm still learning about myself and am willing to have an open mind to things that may be of help to me. So far, I have been able to find things that work for me that I will continue to try. Opening my mind to new things has been so refreshing and rewarding. Onto the next one!!